Crikey Sports

Our balls and all sports blog

Ashes 09: North finds touch

July 4, 2009 – 7:58 am, by Jarrod Kimber

Australia has looked narcoleptic at times during this match.

But some cool shit has happened to the players who are awake.

Michael Hussey came back from the wilderness.

Brett Lee proved earnestness can produce wickets.

And now Marcus North, their major form worry, has made a calm hundred.

Sure Phillip Hughes can’t play short or full balls. And Nathan Hauritz would be more use cutting the oranges or holding the bags. But having three players find form in one match is pretty handy.

North’s innings wasn’t orgasmic, but he never really looked like going out, and when he is at his best that is generally how North bats.

He is what commentators like to call an organised batsmen, he files runs and plans his innings.

There is nothing wrong with it; Australia still has Ponting, Hughes, Clarke, Haddin and Johnson to produce the crowd-pleasing match-stealing performances.

North just needs to keep meeting his deadlines and hoping the boss’s son (Watson) doesn’t get his job.

Visit Jarrod over at cricket with balls.

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Ashes 09: Brett Lee’s form reversal

July 3, 2009 – 12:46 pm, by Jarrod Kimber

Brett Lee has had a shocking last twelve months.

Injury, love woes, form loss, losing his king of cricket pop title to AB DeVillers, and the Chris Gayle ruining his come back.

Today he stepped over the carcass of the last 12 months.

Coming on after Ponting threatened to spank him for not taking the game seriously enough, Lee earned a test spot and went back to his golden form.

Lee’s problem is this coma he hops into from time to time where he leaks runs, forgets about wickets and frustrates everyone who wants him around.

It was only a few weeks ago I had the Brett Lee debate,

“Which Lee will make his comeback in the Ashes, the miserly demon leader or the run leaking waste of space?

Should Australia punt on Lee, with his poor record in the UK, or is it time to let him reclaim his birth right of Bollywood’s favourite white cricketer.

Usually I am so sure, but with Lee, I have already back flipped so many times my back is gone. For once I shall leave it to the selectors and Ricky, so I expect Lee to be there for the first test.”

How many people would pick Hillfenhaus or Hauritz ahead of him now?

It seems that all that earnestness in Lee’s demeanour of late has been transported into pure fast bowling aggression, even if he did need a kick in the bum from Ricky.

The score was 0/172 when he came on, a short time later the score was 5/209, and Brett Lee and Ricky Ponting were best friends again.

It was probably Andrew Hilditch’s favourite warm up spell of all time.

Lee went from a probable to a definite, and the bowling quartet was completed without a phone call needing to be made.

Even though England has been way more impressive than Australia in their warm up game, Australia must feel like they have hugged a leprechaun with their two biggest form worries coming good in one match.

And it must be said, Lee looked magnificent; like someone had covered in him in butter and told him he was God.

Reverse swing was his weapon, but he had pace, was almost unhittable, and had the presence of a man in charge.

The rest of the attack had a nap.

Get yourself over to cricket with balls for more jarrody goodness.

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Ashes 09: A hole in the Hauritz

July 3, 2009 – 9:36 am, by Jarrod Kimber

Imagine you were using a glass to transport water, I don’t know why you are transporting water, maybe your dog is on fire.

The problem with the glass is that you can’t get much water in it, if you drop the glass it will break, and your hands are slippery from all the water.  This is your 5th glass already, having smashed the others.

You decide there must be a better way, so you go looking for a bucket.

There are no adequate buckets, but there is one that has no handle, a crack in the side, and a hole in the bottom.

Comparing the shitty bucket to the debris of broken glasses you decide this is a better option than the glass.

Running back and forth with this bucket soon proves fruitless, the crack gets bigger because it has no handle and the hole leaks plenty of water so that you have virtually none upon arrival.

Your dog is now burnt to death.

So why would you even think about using Nathan Hauritz in the first test?

He might be a container, but he isn’t containing shit.

Stuart Clark, Andrew McDonald or Ben Hilfenhaus might not be completely suited to the conditions, but they will do a better job than Hauritz.

At the moment it is hard to see what Hauritz is actually doing.

He never looks like he is trying to get wickets, yet he never really bowls to keep the scoreboard tight.

Ponting puts the field out and then brings them back in; a never-ending cyclical game plan that no one understands.

If there was a burning dog in front of Ponting surely he would be better to spit on it than use this useless bucket.

Australia, you must say no to Hauritz.

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Ashes 09: Hussey makes runs

July 2, 2009 – 2:07 pm, by Jarrod Kimber

Unless you saw it you wouldn’t believe it, M Hussey (the King Probot) back in form again.

It wasn’t a magical innings, but he doesn’t really play magical innings.

He was efficient, selective, calm, measured and frustratingly solid (© M Hussey) .

It wasn’t free flowing, but it was a long way from his stoic crease occupation mode as well.

It has been a long time since he made a hundred in any form of cricket, 9 months to be exact, so the fact this was only a warm up on a good pitch and he got dropped didn’t seem to matter as much as him getting his “groove” back.

As someone who has watched him for 18 months trudge around the crease like a lone born again Christian at the Sydney Mardi Gras, I can honestly say this was way better.

The bowling was good, Onions and Harmy were on their game, and Bresnan was very respectable.

There was no demons in the pitch, but Hussey has been bringing his own demons for 18 months, a lesser probot would have been crushed by now, but fuck me if Hussey isn’t the little mainframe that could.

In the media there will be a lot of talk of how Australia are struggling with the bat, but the one man they have been waiting on for longer than consecutive pregnancies finally looks like himself again, so this first innings must be regarded as some sort of success.

Some people, you dirty cynical fuckers, might say that any batsmen would come good if he was given 18 months to find his form again, but that kind of talk is disgusting, even if it is correct.

Michael Hussey did do one other great thing today, he held the Australian batting together, which meant it was harder for the English scribes to stick the boot in, especially as Australia out scored England against a way (Rikki Clarke got English wickets) better attack.

Jarrod thinks the perfect companion for the Ashes is his book, and he says so with glorious bias.

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Ashes 09: North struggles to warm up

July 2, 2009 – 7:31 am, by Jarrod Kimber

Andrew Hilditch’s belief in the Australian batsmen and Shane Watson’s delicate body seems more moronic the longer this tour goes (5 days of cricket in). He and his team decided that Australia’s spare batsmen for the tour was Shane Watson, a man that makes a violet crumble look like a titanium rod.

Watson broke down, surprisingly absolutely no one, and Australia are left with two men to be back up batsmen for the next test, Andrew McDonald, not a test class batsmen, and Graham Manou, definitely not a test class batsmen.

All of this would be fine if the Australian batting order was firing on all cylinders, but if Marcus North’s batting was a car then he wouldn’t be able to put the key in.

The best way of explaining North’s current form is that Nathan Hauritz looks like Mark Waugh in comparison. North cannot buy, steal, find or molest a run so far.

Against Sussex he was in quicksand, his first innings lasted 5 balls, his second innings lasted 50 balls for 11 runs. There was a sense of desperation in his batting that I haven’t seen since the last time I saw Michael Hussey out of form (which definitely was not today).

Today he lasted 5 balls again, although I am not sure how. Almost every ball, no matter how benign it appeared, was like a cluster bomb when it got to him.

North is a very accomplished batsman, but he isn’t a world-beater, and if his off spin wasn’t like Viagra to the Australian selectors you couldn’t see them picking him ahead of Hodge, Ferguson, Hussey (jnr), Klinger or some random NSWales youngster.

His maiden hundred was well made, but he did have some luck. Had South Africa seen him play a bit more they would have closed down his “Western Australian scoring channel” though point with a posse of catching fielders a la Stephen Fleming to Damien Martyn.

And since that hundred Marcus North has not been a factor, although since that hundred he has had only 3 innings to be a factor.

There was a time when Australia would have had a “bat off” with a couple of batsmen on a tour like this, but Hilditch turned up with his batting superglued in place.

Right now, he must be looking for some nail polish remover, because North is looking shaky at best, and at worst, he looks like an Ashes anchor like The Krab Katich did in 05.

Shane Watson’s injury hasn’t made this worse, as even if he was brought into the side to replace North, what sort of kamikaze gambler would bet on him lasting 5 whole days of cricket.

Surely even Hilditch is questioning is choices about now.


Read more from jarrod over at cricket with balls.

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Ashes 09: Report from hove

July 1, 2009 – 8:18 am, by Jarrod Kimber

Australia drew tamely (not drew aggressively or sexily) with Sussex and it has convinced some that the apocalypse is coming.

There was a time when practice matches on tours meant a lot. Bradman, and his neurotic need to be better than everyone, pushed the Invincibles to win everything they could. Allan Border threatened to send Craig McDermott home during a tour game once for being too ginger.

Taking tour games seriously has gone the way of chat rooms; Australia only has two proper practice games on this tour, and asked for 12 payers to be played in both.

The fact that they didn’t push very hard for victory, and looked a bit flat makes sense. They are taking this as just a warm up in a similar way to their game against South Africa A before the tests there. You can’t trust teams in warm up games anymore. Look at Pakistan’s form before the world t20.

Robin Martin-Jenkins played in the match, and he this to say:

“Sledging, mental disintegration, call it what you will, but there was none of it. I batted for an hour-and-a-half in the first innings and had my usual share of wild flails outside off stump. After each one my ears were primed for the volley of abuse that would surely come my way but not a thing was said. In fact, aside from a bit of geeing-up from the covers the whole team was quiet in the field. It smacked of a fairly new team still coming to terms with each other, which is of course what it is. “

He might have a point, but it could just be that they couldn’t be bothered sledging in a practice match. That is a real shame. Sledging is much a skill as the leg glance or the doosra.

Some things have become clearer in Hove, Peter Siddle is Australia’s number two bowler, Nathan Hauritz can struggle on a spinning deck, Marcus North needs some runs at Worcester, Mike Hussey is still in a slump, everytime Phil Hughes goes out someone will come up with a strategy to end his career, and Australia still seem confused as to who their top four quicks are.

Australia now play England A, and there is a chance that Brett Lee might actually bowl his heart out.

Jarrod can be found over at cricket with balls.

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Alternative highlights: Wallabies vs France

June 29, 2009 – 11:52 pm, by Matt Gagger

The more I watched it the more I realised the Wallabies simply didn’t let the French play. A clinical and useful gameplan with the 3Ns around the corner. A few laughs at the end.

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To “spot him up”

June 29, 2009 – 4:13 pm, by Scott Shepherd

You hear the phrase “spotted him up” often, and variations on it, when watching AFL games. It is a phrase that in isolation would be very difficult to understand.

So, what does it mean?

It is an abbreviated way of saying that the player who has the ball has seen his teammate who is in some space, and he has successfully kicked it to him. There is further nuance in that it only applies when the receiving teammate is stationary (or almost stationary).

Relative to most of the peculiar sports commentary english that we are subjected to, which often and painfully drains meaning from sentences, this one is pretty useful.

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AFL coaches 2010

June 25, 2009 – 2:57 pm, by Scott Shepherd

More AFL clubs might change coaches from the start of the ‘09 season to the start of the ‘10 season than we have seen in…well, longer than my memory. Already two changes have been made, and we are only half way through the season.

So, who will be coaching where in 2010? Here are the answers.

Adelaide: Neil Craig. He is one of the coaches over which there seems to be no controversy at all. Adelaide look like they will make the finals yet again, and they have possibly the best group of young players in the AFL. When Craig does leave the Crows, it will probably be as a premiership coach.

Brisbane: Michael Voss. Half way through his first season Voss has the Lions pushing for a top four finish. His lack of experience in coaching has apparently done his team no harm yet. Even if they were to have a bad last 10 rounds, and miss the finals, there is no chance of a coaching change in Brisbane.

Carlton: Brett Ratten. The Blues are on target for the finals for the first time since 2001. They have a group of young players that means optimism for the future is high. No chance of a change here.

Collingwood: Mick Malthouse. He is coming out of contract, and has been at Collingwood for 10 seasons without a premiership, and Nathan Buckley may not be available to coach them if they do not act soon. Those three things mean there is some doubt. I just cannot believe that Collingwood would be so willing to take a risk on an untried coach when the person they already have is probably the best in the competition. He has taken teams to the finals 16 times out of 25 (probably 17/26 at the end of this season). It is 15 out of 20 if you exclude the Footscray years, and looks even better if you consider that Collingwood were the bottom team when he took over.

Essendon: Matthew Knights. The Bombers have performed better than most expected so far this season. I think they will struggle to match that in the second half of the season, but it would take almost 10 straight losses before there was even a hint of Knights being in trouble.

Fremantle: Mark Harvey. Seems to have the support at Freo to avoid the axe, despite winning only three games so far, but he must be on the proverbial thin ice, and it would not surprise at all if he were not there at the start of next season. If I were Freo, I would be putting together every cent I could muster and getting in touch with Malthouse’s agent. As a club that has never managed to perform consistently well, an experienced coach with a proven record of club building would seem the perfect match. Mark Williams would be another solid option. I would check what Sheedy Pagan and Matthews are doing, and Gary Ayers too, as a less expensive alternative. Due to the recent trend to shy away from coaches with experience (nobody has hired a coach with senior coaching experience since late 2004), there is many good experienced coaches available.

Geelong: Mark Thompson. No explanation required.

Hawthorn: Alastair Clarkson. Despite the possibility that they may not even be in the finals the year after a premiership, Clarkson is very safe. Despite sneaking a premiership last year, they are still a work in progress. So despite Jeff Kennett’s protestations, given their run of injuries, there season so far is not very surprising.

North Melbourne: Darren Crocker. Caretaker coaches often end up getting the job permanently. I do not think they will be successful in luring Nathan Buckley. Mark Williams would be another potential option with the high profile the Kangaroos crave. I fear that their unfashionable image will put those people out of reach though.
Melbourne: Dean Bailey. They need time no matter who is the coach, and Bailey seems to be doing a good job of developing the young players. He is cursed with the worst batch of ‘top line’ players in the competition, so there is no chance of anyone getting many wins out of that list.

Port Adelaide: Damien Hardwick. It is almost accepted fact that Mark Williams will not be there next season. Hardwick has a good reputation as an assistant coach and he pad in a premiership at the club. There are plenty of experienced options available, but I think the Power will go for someone ‘fresh’.

Richmond: Wayne Campbell. Has a very good reputation as an assistant coach and a long history with the club. Jade Rawlings can get himself into contention with a good finish to the season as caretaker coach. Other current assistant coaches at Richmond David King and Craig McCrae also have a chance. Chris Bond, who has a lot of experience as an assistant, and experience in running his own team in the VFL, and played 100 games for the club, might also have a chance.

St.Kilda: Ross Lyon. Top four last season, 12-0 so far this season. He is safe.

Sydney: John Longmire. I believe that Paul Roos is contracted for 2010, but with the club about to embark on a rebuilding phase, and a succession plan seemingly already in place, I think Roos will retire from coaching and Longmire will step in for what are likely to be some difficult seasons.

West Coast: John Worsfold. They love him, and as a premiership captain and coach, you can understand why. The Eagles have played some really poor footy in the last couple of seasons though, and Worsfold might not be the best option for getting them back to the end of the ladder that the club is most accustomed to. It would probably be best to give Worsold a 1-year extension and see how things are going then, but he will probably demand 3 years and get it.

Western Bulldogs: Rodney Eade. He is out of contract at the end of the year, but the Dogs will almost certainly stick with him, as it looks like they will finish in the top four for the second consecutive season. The only temptation could be to have a nibble at Matthews or Malthouse, in much the same way that clubs trying to get that last little bit of improvement ‘top up’ on experienced players (e.g. Stewart Dew last year) in the belief that they will be more likely to win a premiership. Clubs are conservative with coaches when their team is near the top of the ladder though, so it would be a huge surprise.

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Wallabies vs Italy 2 - alternative highlights

June 25, 2009 – 3:14 am, by Matt Gagger

Here they are, our best highlights to date

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