Cinetology

All about the cinema

Valentine’s Day film review: too many celebs, not enough smarts

February 9, 2010 – 7:52 am, by Luke Buckmaster

Valentine's Day posterRed lightAt some point in the not too distant past someone in Hollywood got a fat bonus, a hearty pat on the back and instant respect from his peers for inventing a brilliant way of advertising when new films arrive at the cinema. Wait for it: you simply name the production after its release date! Brilliant! And if the film isn’t released on that exact day, at least people will know when they can stroll up and buy a ticket.

Disasterpiece director Roland Emmerich employed the technique with Independence Day, aka ID4, and it went rather swimmingly well – so much so that he tried it twice more but misfired considerably. 10,000 BC advertised a release date a wee bit earlier than your average cinemagoer could feasibly get to, and 2012, while more plausible, arrived three years early (it was released in 2009).

Nobody needs to explain when Valentine’s Day will be available in cinemas for your viewing pleasure, if your idea of viewing pleasure equals a smaltzy dramatically inept rom-com with an unaccountably large array of characters played by an ensemble of underperforming celebs, including (deep breath) Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Patrick Dempsey, Jamie Foxx, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway and Ashton Kutcher.

A plot synopsis would be long, exhausting and pointless, so let’s just say that a bunch of people get together on Valentine’s Day. Some date, some get engaged, some have relationship tiffs, one comes out of the closet and one – to protect her identity we shall call her “Queen Latifah” – plays against type (ahem) as a large, loud, boisterous ball breaker. The story tediously criss-crosses between them. Ashton Kutcher proves once again that he can’t act. Or, if he can, he does a masterful job faking it. Read More »

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Daybreakers film review: the Spierig Brothers fang it

February 8, 2010 – 3:21 pm, by Luke Buckmaster

Daybreakers posterGreen lightAt a time when the relentlessly homogenised ethos of vampire genre storytelling desperately needed to be rescued from the clutches of Robert Pattinson and associated Twihards comes the second blood-spangled flick from emerging horror writer/directors The Spierig Brothers.

The Spierigs burst on the scene with a magnificent explosion of body parts in 2003’s zany Aussie zombie comedy Undead. Modestly budgeted at around a million bucks, the film looked like it cost ten times that amount – a result of their extensive hands-on SFX work and a restlessly inventive visual structure.

These guys know how to stretch a budget; they know how to savour every drop of fake blood. Therefore it’s not difficult to understand how and why they got the moolah to make Daybreakers, a revisionist vampire flick in which the Spierig Brothers upturn expectations by delivering an eerily original horror triumph. It makes Twilight look like Play School.

The story is set in a world where almost everybody is a vampire and where human bodies are harvested for their blood. Edward (Ethan Hawke) is one of the vamps, albeit of the more moralistic ilk: like an animal-loving vegan he sympathises with humans, rejects real blood and only drinks blood substitute. This fits in well with where the world is heading – because real blood is rapidly running out and the powers that be are desperate for a substitute, a cure, or simply more of the good stuff. Read More »

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Precious film review: outstanding feats of acting

February 5, 2010 – 8:00 am, by Luke Buckmaster

PreciousGreen lightThe quality of acting in director Lee Daniels’s heart pulverising drama Precious is of such a high standard that even two mainstream musos – Mariah Carey and Lenny Kravitz – come out of it looking like seasoned professionals.

You get the sense that it wouldn’t matter who Daniels dished out parts to (Chris Rock, Dwayne Johnson, hell, even Rob Schneider) because the impression is that no single person would be capable of toppling this film’s authenticity. Its unflinching grasp of realism is alleviated only during fantasy moments in which the protagonist, an obese and illiterate African American teenager, imagines she is somebody else.

Her name is Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) and she’s pregnant – to her father - with her second child. Struggling at school, Precious is invited to join a special class for trouble students in the hope that her life can be steered in a better direction. But don’t expect a cheesy classroom story in which the characters ponder the hidden meaning of Bob Dylan lyrics or do “crazy” things like stand on top of their desks to obtain a fresh perspective on life. Dangerous Minds this ain’t.

The real horror in Precious’s life unfolds when she returns home to the wrath of her unemployed mother Mary (Mo’Nique), a despicable and domineering slob whose cankerous presence is like a blaze of fire, singeing every soul within a two block radius. A scene during which Mary pleads to her case worker (Mariah Carey) is the pinnacle of Mo’Nique’s breathtaking high voltage performance. You can see the flecks of goodness scattered across her horrible personality, you can feel the pathetic frailty beneath her bullish exterior. Mo’Nique hammers it home with an authenticity so real it hurts. Like hell.

Gabourey Sidibe’s pivotal performance is also outstandingly nuanced – the kind of acting that would ordinarily guarantee her a healthy future career in Hollywood if her physical stature didn’t make that virtually impossible, given the industry’s narrow casting pool. Read More »

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David Michod and film writing vs. filmmaking

February 4, 2010 – 9:18 am, by Luke Buckmaster

David Michod

On Monday I wrote about debut writer/director David Michod’s new film, Animal Kingdom, which received the prestigious grand jury prize at Sundance last week. Hearty congrats to Michod (pictured above) for what sounds like a promising start to his new career. Looking forward to watching it.

The 37-year-old former film journalist’s transition from writer to doer gives some credence to the argument that film writers are essentially frustrated filmmakers. But let me take this moment to state in no uncertain terms that this idea is total bunk.

Over the years, when I’ve been privileged enough to receive bursts of hate mail (and I do consider it a privilege) I’ve noticed that plenty of people have commented on my supposed aspirations to become a filmmaker.

A peeved crew member of Superman Returns wrote to me a few years ago in response to my less than positive appraisal of the film (I may have implied – or outwardly stated – that it was written by monkeys).

Here’s a short snippet of what he wrote: Read More »

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Discussing the 2010 Academy Awards nominations

February 3, 2010 – 7:55 am, by Luke Buckmaster

Oscars statuetteThe nominations for the 2010 Academy Awards were announced this morning. This year’s awards are particularly significant in that they mark the first year in which the number of Best Picture nominees extends from five to ten. They are an impressive bunch of films: Avatar, The Blind Side (which I haven’t seen), District 9, An Education, Inglourious Basterds, Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire, The Hurt Locker, A Serious Man, Up and Up in the Air. The big surprise here is the inclusion of debut director Neil Blomkamp’s killer social commentary SCI-FI, District 9.

There were some other surprises littered throughout the remaining categories. Armando Iannucci’s biting, foul-mouthed political satire In the Loop scored a nom for Best Adapted Screenplay, which is great news. Penélope Cruz scored a Best Supporting Actress nom for Nine, which is bizarre and completely unjustifiable. Ditto for Stanley Tucci for Best Supporting Actor (The Lovely Bones). Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince got nominated for Best Cinematography, which I didn’t see coming.

Sadly, Warwick Thornton’s seminal indigenous drama Samson & Delilah didn’t make it into the Best Foreign Language film category. And for the first time in over a decade, no Australian actors have been nominated. However, three Australians will attend the ceremony: Janet Patterson, who was nominated for Best Costume Design (Bright Star) and Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey, who were nominated for Best Live Action Short Film (Miracle Fish).

James Cameron (Avatar) will go head-to-head with his ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) for Best Director, which we knew would happen. At least two nominees are well deserved shoo-ins: Christoph Waltz for Best Supporting Actor (Inglourious Basterds) and Mo’Nique for Best Supporting Actress (Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire).

Here are the complete list of nominees. Read More »

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Win double passes to see A Prophet

February 3, 2010 – 7:24 am, by Luke Buckmaster

A Prophet poster

To mark next week’s theatrical release of director Jacques Audiard’s acclaimed French crime drama A Prophet, Cinetology readers have the chance to win one of 10 in-season double passes. They are valid nationwide from February 11.

Here’s the official synopsis:

Condemned to six years in a French prison, Malik El Djebena (Tahir Rahim), part Arab, part Corsican, cannot read or write. Arriving at the jail entirely alone, he appears younger and more fragile than the other convicts. He is 19 years old. Cornered by the leader of the Corsican gang currently ruling the prison, he is given a number of “missions” to carry out, toughening him up and gaining the gang leader’s confidence in the process. Malik is a fast learner and rises up the prison ranks, all the while secretly devising his own plans.

For your chance to win simply email me with your full name and postal address and tell me why you want to see A Prophet.

Competition closes February 9. Good luck.

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Talkin’ the 2010 Razzies

February 2, 2010 – 3:00 pm, by Luke Buckmaster

RazziesThroughout the hullabaloo of the annual film awards season one ceremony maintains a proud history of spotlighting the worst Hollywood has to offer. No, I’m not talking about the Academy Awards, though we all feel the pain when Mr. Oscar dishes out golden statuettes to people like James Cameron and Halle Berry. I’m talking about the Golden Raspberry aka Razzie Awards, which this year celebrate “29 years of dishonouring Hollywood’s worst.”

The 2010 nominations were announced this morning and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (aka Trannies, Too) came an even first with Land of the Lost, each film chalking up seven nominations including Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay and Worst Director. Trannies, Too deserves this ignominious distinction but Land of the Lost was nowhere near as bad as the press would lead you to believe.

Intriguingly, Sandra Bullock might pull off the bizarre achievement of winning a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year. She’s been nominated as one half of the Worst Screen Couple award along with All About Steve co-star Bradley Cooper. Bullock is expected to be nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for her part in American football drama The Blind Side. If she wins (the Oscar, not the Razzie) expect to read some convincing arguments that this is in fact an early sign of the apocalypse (I might write one myself).

For a full break down of the nominations, scroll down to the bottom of this post or visit the Razzies’ website, which deserves its own Golden Raspberry equiverlant for terrible web design.

In addition to the usual categories the 2010 Razzies will feature a set of Worst of the Decade awards for Worst Picture, Actor and Actress.

The nominees for Worst Picture of the Decade are: Read More »

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Animal Kingdom scores big at Sundance

February 1, 2010 – 10:56 pm, by Luke Buckmaster

Animal KingdomA little over a year after Adam Elliot’s sublime stop motion feature Mary and Max opened the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, a Melbourne-based crime flick, Animal Kingdom, has been awarded Sundance’s coveted grand jury prize.

Yesterday the gong was dished out to debut writer/director David Michod, a Victorian College of the Arts graduate who shot the film “all over Melbourne” in 35 days. Michod, 37, wrote the first draft over a decade ago after reading a series of books by former The Age crime writer Tom Noble. The film stars Guy Pearce, Jacki Weaver, Joel Edgerton, Ben Mendelsohn and James Frecheville and is reportedly loosely based on the 1988 Walsh Street police shootings in South Yarra, Melbourne.

Michod is a former editor of Australian film industry mag Inside Film and made the transition from writing about films to making them about four years ago. “I basically decided to stop writing about what other people were doing, and do it myself,” he said.

Check out the poster (above left, click to enlarge) which was designed by Australian key art maestro Jeremy Saunders. And check out the teaser trailer below.

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Avatar paves the way for Star Wars 3D

January 30, 2010 – 11:59 am, by Luke Buckmaster

Darth Vader 3D glassesThe phenomenal success of Avatar and its widely lauded, eye-bogglingly gorgeous visual structure has paved the way for an onslaught of 3D movies. Some titles, such as the re-rendered 3D versions of Pixar classics Toy Story 1 and 2, were in production well before James Cameron’s blockbustepic bulldozed its way into the record books. Others, such as George Lucas’s Star Wars pics, now have the proverbial green light to get 3D treatment. According to Lucas, who briefly spoke with Access Hollywood at last week’s Golden Globes after party, Cameron’s film has inspired a new 3D makeover of the Star Wars pics – an idea he’s been reportedly toying with for some time.

Here’s what he said:

“[I'm] happy it’s so successful and worked very well in 3D. Haven’t been a big fan of 3D, but that movie definitely improves in 3D….We’ve been looking for years and years and years of trying to take Star Wars and put it in 3D … But, [the] technology hasn’t been there. We’ve been struggling with it, but I think this will be a new impetus to make that happen.”

While the idea of watching the original trilogy in 3D on the big screen is a definite hells-yeah for any old school Star Wars appreciator (myself included) Lucas will of course insist on re-releasing all six films – including the bogus prequels The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones (the third prequel, Revenge of the Sith, fared a lot better). Master Jedi Lucas has actually already re-released the original trilogy once before: the Star Wars Special Editions arrived in the late 90s, and while it may have been a hoot to see them on the big screen, they also came with additional, utterly superfluous footage and special effects. Read More »

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Law Abiding Citizen film review: guilty of trashiness in the first

January 28, 2010 – 6:23 pm, by Luke Buckmaster

Law Abiding Citizen posterRed lightJust who is the law abiding citizen in Law Abiding Citizen? Certainly not Gerard Butler aka Clyde Shelton, a pushed-over-the-line newborn psychopath who dedicates his existence to bloody revenge against all and sundry after the murderers of his wife and daughter get off with a lean sentence. And surely not Jamie Foxx, who plays state prosecutor Nick cut-em-a-deal Rice, the man responsible for letting one of the crooks off with an especially short jail stint. And even if that doesn’t technically constitute a crime, Foxx’s acting would be more than enough to swing the jury.

Ten years after the horrible murderous incident – which bizarrely arrives a moment after the audience are treated to the soothing sounds of The Byrd’s cover of Mr Tambourine Man – the Shelton family killers each suffer excruciatingly painful deaths. The cops, in a rare display of semi-intelligence, connect the pieces and throw Clyde in the slammer. Trouble is, he keeps on killing. And his kills get increasingly ludicrous as Be Cool director F. Gary Gray gets increasingly desperate to shape this trashy revenge thriller into something vaguely resembling entertainment.

The big question is: how is Shelton managing to cast his wrath while locked up in the slammer? The former family man is painted as an unfathomably brilliant criminal mastermind. One character even has the gall to say “if he’s in jail, it’s because he wants to be in jail…every move he makes means something.” But you can sense that something – and it’s not just the acting – isn’t quite right about this tawdry, lifeless who/how/why-dunnit. Sure enough the plot resolution is beyond dumb, beyond unfeasible. It’s not a matter of suspending disbelief; it’s a matter of chopping it into small pieces and shoving it into a hookah beforehand. That doesn’t in itself make Law Abiding Citizen a bad movie – but the hammy acting, cookie cutter characters and non-existent action scenes certainly don’t help either.

Law Abiding Citizen’s Australian theatrical release date: January 28, 2009.

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Invictus film review: Eastwood drops the ball with sentimental sports/politics slosh

January 28, 2010 – 11:37 am, by Luke Buckmaster

Invictus posterRed light

The common perception of Clint Eastwood is that of a tough, uncompromising figure in Hollywood, the kind of rugged seen-it-all type who can smite souls with his eyes and talks through gritted teeth, grousing about the foibles of a harsh, unforgiving and morally vacuous world. As an actor he is both revered and stereotyped as a stoic alpha male with a foundation in True Grit; as a director he is justly celebrated as a teller of powerful stories about flawed people in bad circumstances.

But every once in a while uncompromising artists such as Eastwood gaze into the mirror and soul search: do they really wanna be remembered as the perennial party pooper?

So at 79 years of age (and still churning out films) the great, flinty, hard-nosed man has finally descended into soapy sentimentality with Invictus – a Nelson Mandela biopic, of sorts, that glossily dramatises the achievements of the South African rugby team in the time shortly after Mandela rose to power.

Invictus is cheesy both as a political story about Mandela’s Presidency and as a sports movie about the Rugby team that could. Eastwood’s brand of cinematic cheese, it should be noted, may taste like a subtle smoked cheddar when compared to the rank blue-vein flogged by many of his Hollywood colleagues – but it’s here nonetheless.

Invictus is historical fiction that exists in a nicer, cleaner version of reality than we (and Eastwood’s films) typically inhabit. Eastwood doesn’t know how to make this kind of picture so he gropes around the edges, blinded by the light of a world in which his signature pessimism has little relevance. Read More »

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Poster Watch: Creation

January 26, 2010 – 11:33 am, by Luke Buckmaster

Creation posterLast November I wrote about the striking use of white employed in the poster for Clint Eastwood’s new political biopic/sports movie Invictus. This simple but rather wonderful one-sheet for Creation (left, click to enlarge) ups the ante with a whole lot more nothingness; it’s a strikingly elegant, uncluttered image that uses empty space to maximum effect.

Paul Bettany, who plays Charles Darwin, reaches for an ET-esque touching fingers moment with a monkey; anybody who doesn’t understand the connection between Darwin and monkeys ought to, erm, see something else. At the moment it’s unclear which poster will be used for the film’s Australian marketing materials (it opens here April 1) so let’s hope this one gets a Guernsey. There’s another, semi-decent one out there and one cringe-worthy alternative that embraces the biggest stereotype in poster designing, which we shall call the attack of the big heads.

Directed by Jon Amiel, who helmed the flimsy tunnel-to-the-centre-of-the-earth disaster flick The Core (2003), Creation  experienced difficulty obtaining a U.S. release (it opened in the States this week) which was reportedly due to the relatively small amount of Americans who actually believe in evolution.

At time of writing the film is sitting on a 42% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which suggests critical opinion is – at best – divided. The trailer (watch it below) certainly makes it look pretty hammy.

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New South Australian DVD laws – a pain in the Rs

January 25, 2010 – 3:06 pm, by Luke Buckmaster

I wrote a story for today’s Crikey newsletter about South Australia’s bizarre new DVD laws pertaining to the manner in which R-rated films are displayed and promoted. You can read it online here.

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Giant cane toads to hop-start 3D Aussie flicks

January 25, 2010 – 10:09 am, by Luke Buckmaster
3D movies are traditionally associated with horror, science fiction and animation, but in the wake of Avatar’s monolithic success expect to see the third-dimensional playing field substantially widened to accommodate a much more diverse array of pictures. With this in mind, it’s not all that surprising that Australia’s first 3D flick will be a nature documentary about – wait for it – cane toads.
Cane Toads: The Conquest, set to premiere at the Sundance Film Festival later this month, was written and directed by Mark Lewis, who is well-versed in the field of slimy yellowy things that croak. In 1998 Lewis made a BAFTA-nominated short doco called Cane Toads: An Unnatural History, which analysed the disastrous ecological impact incurred after cane toads were introduced in Queensland in 1935 in an attempt to control pests.
“There was no precedent at all for making the kind of film I like to make in 3-D,” Lewis said in a recent interview. “So that was the challenge – to see if I could adapt it to my own niche and use 3-D as a tool to bring a world of storytelling, comedy, characters and animals to life in a visceral and fun way.”
The film has been described as (check this) “a documentary horror film about the environmental devastation left in the wake of the giant toads’ unstoppable march across Australia.” Sounds like the title could have been ‘March of the Cane Toads.
I can’t help but picture a horde of thousands of croaking toads angrily hopping across the Australian countryside. Imagine each of them carrying tiny marching band musical instruments, and that’s one very amusing mental image.

Cane toads3D movies are traditionally associated with horror, science fiction and animation, but in the wake of Avatar’s monolithic success expect to see the third-dimensional playing field substantially widened to accommodate a much more diverse array of pictures. With this in mind, it’s not all that surprising that Australia’s first 3D flick will be a nature documentary about – wait for it – cane toads.

Cane Toads: The Conquest, set to premiere at the Sundance Film Festival later this month, was written and directed by Mark Lewis, who is well-versed in the field of slimy yellowy things that croak. In 1998 Lewis made a BAFTA-nominated short doco called Cane Toads: An Unnatural History, which analysed the disastrous ecological impact incurred after cane toads were introduced in Queensland in 1935 in an attempt to control pests.

The new film will pad out the material to a feature length running time.

“There was no precedent at all for making the kind of film I like to make in 3-D,” Lewis said in a recent interview. “So that was the challenge – to see if I could adapt it to my own niche and use 3-D as a tool to bring a world of storytelling, comedy, characters and animals to life in a visceral and fun way.”

IMDB describes Cane Toads: The Conquest as “a documentary horror film about the environmental devastation left in the wake of the giant toads’ unstoppable march across Australia.” Sounds like the title could have been March of the Cane Toads.

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Nine film review: a carbon-copy Chicago song and dance snoozer

January 22, 2010 – 8:42 am, by Luke Buckmaster

Nine posterRed lightDirector Rob Marshall’s follow-up to his leg-kicking, Oscar-snaring adaptation of Broadway behemoth Chicago is Nine, an Italian soft porn musical with virtually no Italians in it. When Fergie belts out one of the more rousing numbers, Be Italian, roaring like a plump toothless tiger determined to prove she’s still capable of swallowing a man whole, Marshall and co. would have done well to listen to her advice. Nine is about as Italian as a Pizza Hut meal deal.

It’s as if the casting director went out of their way to avoid hiring real Italians, though the film is supposed to be a flamboyant celebration of Fellini’s inimitable film-about-filmmaking, 8 ½. Daniel Day Lewis is Irish, Judi Dench is English, Fergie is American, Penelope Cruz is Spanish, Nicole Kidman is Aussie. Sophia Loren, looking like the defibrillator has been applied between takes, appears conspicuously out of place. She is, after all, Italian. Lack of legit Italians does not necessarily make Nine a bad movie, but it exemplifies Marshall’s contrived approach, rich in the desire to make exotic things palatable, to shoot for the big audience, a sort of faux high-art for the multiplex crowd.

Daniel Day Lewis plays Guido Contini, a legendary and apparently brilliant director (there’s no evidence of that here) who is struggling for inspiration to start his new film. He walks around mentally undressing his beautiful colleagues, then beds them. His marriage to Luisa (Marion Cotillard) is deteriorating and his relationship with his mistress Carla (Penelope Cruz) is similarly in turmoil. Both are beautiful women – one of the reasons Guido doesn’t solicit much sympathy. The characters do a lot of singing. There isn’t much story. Read More »

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