Since making a name for himself in 2001’s indie mind melt Donnie Darko and later as Heath Ledger’s lover in Brokeback Mountain (2005) Jake Gyllenhaal has remained somewhat aloof and left-of-centre from the inner circle of mega-earning A list Hollywood actors, largely avoiding the cha-ching! lure of junky action blockbusters. The big exception is The Day After Tomorrow, but as far as dumb end-is-nigh disaster movies go that one fared a helluva lot better than most.
It is unlikely that Gyllenhaal will fit into the same quasi alternative niche after the arrival of the stupendously dumb-looking Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, a Bruckheimer-produced big screen version of the video game that was originally released in 1989 and has since spawned a number of sequels and revamps. The trailer (watch it below) makes it clear that, pending a miracle, it will represent the creative nadir of Gyllenhaal’s career just as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) represented the worst of Angela Jolie. Included in the package are cringe-worthy costumes; Gyllenhaal looks laughable as a dopey long-haired ragamuffin one part Shaggy from Scooby Doo and two parts The Scorpion King.
I remember back in the day playing the original Prince of Persia, a side scrolling platform game with sword fights and rickety tiles that collapse to send the player spiralling downwards onto body mutilating booby traps. I’m guessing that won’t happen to Jake. That’s a shame, especially considering the proliferation of bare chest shots of him strewn across the net, cuz those pecs look just beckoning to be punctured. The trailer culminates with a hellzapoppin action montage spangled with explosions, giant leaps, sword banging, furious glares, operatic music, crumbling buildings and dodging arrows.
Just to get you in the mood, here’s a snippet from the voice-over:
“Only the dagger can unlock the sands of time and there are those who would use this power to destroy the world. The only way to stop this Armageddon is for us to take the dagger to the secret guardian temple…”
In the mood yet?
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time has been slated for a May 2010 Australian theatrical release.
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2 Comments
Armageddon starting in Persia? Sounds plausible to me.
Just looks like another Bruckheimer CDI ridden cliche explosion fest with over the top action sequences that include everything plus the kitchen sink.
I’ve never really played a PoP game and the franchise is pretty meaningless to me, just god forbid Bruckheimer or someone of his ilk ever get their hands on any video game franchises I actually care about, such as LoZ.