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The fabulous Friday trash wrap: Ian Thorpe is so straight it hurts

Low-brow news for high-brow people:

And send one dollar to Happy Dude… The voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, has recorded a robocall voice message as the character to promote a Scientology event. Not that it’s news that Cartwright is a clam, but Fox are notoriously tight about the use of their intellectual property — in this case, Bart Simpson. But are they litigious enough to take on the notoriously lawsuit-happy Church of Scientology?

*Facepalm*. Fox are making a US adaptation of British comedy series Absolutely Fabulous. Because it’s worked so well in the past.

The secret to the Obamas’ love life? Fisting, according to Fox News:

Jessica Alba pwns Bill O’Reilly. Jessica Alba takes Bill O’Reilly to task over his knowledge of WWII history:

“Last week, Mr. Bill O’Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people… it’s so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland.”

Thorpey is so straight it hurts. The Thorpedo is a big, flaming heterosexual, ok? Defamer Australia lay out the facts:

· Ian Thorpe’s housemate is a Brazilian swimmer named Daniel Mendes.

· Daniel is described as “more slightly built” than Ian.

· Ian Thorpe’s former coach Tracey Menzies set them up (to become friends).

· According to the Telegraph, the pair became training buddies before their friendship developed… into more friendship.

GOOP-watch. Ok, we’re just going to make this a regular feature, because Gwyneth Paltrow continues to delight and amuse with her online newsletter each and every week. This week, she shares her secret recipe for steamed peas: “Steam the peas for two to three minutes.”

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  • 1
    Eleri Harris
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm | Permalink

    Crikey reader Tim Peppard writes:

    Why is Ian Thorpe’s sexuality news? When News Ltd . published that Ian and his 25yr old Brazilian housemate of 3 years had enjoyed a holiday together in Brazil, it created a series of stories with strong innuendo. Yesterday Ian Thorpe issued again another press release formally denying he is gay. Why did he bother? Its 2009. Who Cares? Well Mathew Mitcham, the Beijing Olympics Diving Gold Medal winner and out gay sportsman still has no official sponsor. No Audi sponsorship. Whatever the truth behind Ian’s obvious metrosexualtity, it seems the designer of men’s pearl jewellry must publicly be straight. Maybe conditions of sponsorships. But in a more sophisticated marketplace with a public appreciating ‘authenticity’ in their media stars, is he harming his brand in the medium to long run? Are the sponsors reflecting community attitudes, or falling behind?

  • 2
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm | Permalink

    Goodness me, Ruth, your lead-in to that video made me blush… but it cleared up after I saw yet another dullard saying stupid things on Fox News.

  • 3
    Robert Lindblad
    Posted January 31, 2009 at 12:20 am | Permalink

    Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard told his son while he was still sane
    “You know how to get rich… start a religion.” admitting that Scientology is nothing but a fictionally created story.
    Scientology is nothing but a corporation that thrives off the ignorance of it’s followers by selling them and whoever else books, and courses on how to “improve” themselves spiritually.
    One of their expensive scams is that they will sell you for extremely large
    amounts of money a series of books that in the end are supposed to teach you how to walk through walls…. and after spending long hours of self deceptive meditation, a lot of money, and reading you become brainwashed to believe that you can actually walk through walls and when you try to and end up bumping your nose against the wall you are told that you couldn’t do it because you’re not ready yet however there are more books and courses available that will someday make it possible for you to do so for larger amounts of money butt not really.
    Scientology = manipulative corporate scam brainwashing moneybaggers club
    Scientologist = manipulated misguided fool

    I know someone who got sucked into that Scientology I didn’t know he was a Scientologist until one day, about 4 years ago, he said “Rob here’s a book you should read.” He passed me Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard. I laughed and said “L. Con Flubbfart ha forget it.” For the first time in the years since I’ve known the guy he displayed anger and I’m talking very angry!!! Verbally with an agressive face.
    After that display he went on to talk about the ability to walk through walls, he hasn’t reached that level but he plans on getting there etc… I’ve also heard of that course from an ex-Scientologist and neither of them know each other.
    Here’s a website that describes some of the unusual deaths of Scientology members

    http://www.whyaretheydead.net/

    Here’s an interview with L. Ron. Hubbards’ son

    http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/penthouse-LRonHubbardJr-interview-1983.htm

    There must be 50 ways to leave your Scientology master
    You just slip out the back, Jack
    Make a new plan, Stan
    You don’t need to be coy, Roy
    Just get yourself free
    Hop on the bus, Gus
    You don’t need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, Lee
    and get yourself free

  • 4
    Venise Alstergren
    Posted February 6, 2009 at 10:44 pm | Permalink

    What kind of a world is it that celebrities and sports people have to explain who they’re sleeping with?

    Robert Lindblad. Almost all religions are fictionally created stories. Scientology is particularly inane. What about childish Christianity , and Judaism? A virgin gives birth to a boy who is his own father. I’d like to know who Christ’s paternal grandfather was?

    Religion happens when logic departs.

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