Pirate mania

Pirates. They’re a family favourite aren’t they? Kids love them, Mums and Dads love them, party going inner city trendies love them — Hollywood certainly loves them. It’s not hard to see why they’re so popular. I mean, c’mon! High seas adventures, supernatural sea creatures, sword fights, damsels in distress, beaches, Johnny Depp!! Really! Clearly, Pirates of the Caribbean certainly had a lot to do with recent rather absurdly high rates of pirate popularity, a fad clearly demonstrated by the walls of eye patches, fake tattoos, wigs, scarves, hats, beards, swords, pistols and parrot paraphernalia available in two dollar shops across the country.

Pirates are in! At least Hollywood’s kid friendly ones are.

The real kind, the blood thirsty, ruthless, speed boat driving, machine gun wielding ones roaming South East Asia and the coasts of Africa are not exactly the hottest thing in town right now. Last weekend the infamous Somali pirates seized five ships in 48 hours — now that has to be a personal best. But at least the Somali pirates don’t tend to hurt people the New York Times tell us. They’re just taking hostages and holding oil tankers to ransom for hundreds of millions of dollars — which leads me to ask if Somalia’s GDP is largely based on crispy US dollar oil money?

Last year this video clip divided the Crikey newsroom — when I say divided I really mean everyone except Mr Green thought it was awesome. It certainly has an annoying tune!

This kooky video clip demonstrates the key issue with the Somali pirates story — even though your average punter understands real world pirates are criminals, we still kind of think they’re funny cartoon like characters from kid’s entertainment. Despite their bedraggled kefiya t-shirted AK47 desperately poor African mercenary chic, we still imagine them to be dressed like it’s 1660 and ready to set sail for Port Royal — that’d be the pirate city in Jamaica that sank into the sea after an earth quake in 1692. James Christodoulou runs an American shipping line that has been targeted by the hijackers. He says, “First of all, it’s not just tank-tops and t-shirts that they’re coming on board with. It’s tank-tops, t-shirts, AK-47s, and rocket-propelled grenades, and that’s really what kind of sets the tone.”

Here are some pictures for comparison:

Plastic Lego pirates

Real Somali pirates

Not the same hey?

That brings me to today’s big pirate story, the yanks are fighting back! Watch out Johnny Depp, this could one day be a blockbuster. The Guardian reports that a crew of American hostages overthrew their captors, but in a dramatic twist the pirates kidnapped their captain. This has to be my favourite news story of the year:

When Somali pirates skimmed across the Indian Ocean and muscled their way aboard a US food aid ship today, it had all the hallmarks of a depressingly familiar scene: a hostage cargo ship, a vulnerable crew and a well-organised team of brigands with the firepower and know how to seize a ship and demand a fat ransom.

But as a dramatic tussle on the high seas played out tonight, it became clear this was a startlingly different confrontation to the regular string of hijackings and hostage-takings that have plagued the waters off the Horn of Africa in recent months.

The standoff was apparently defused when the 20-man crew turned on their captors and managed to overpower them, seizing one pirate and sending three others fleeing for their dinghy.

But the episode remained unresolved tonight: members of the crew said the pirates had escaped with the captain in tow, and the crew was negotiating for his return, offering food or anything else. The crew had held a pirate prisoner for 12 hours and released him in return for the captain, but the pirates had not kept their side of the bargain.

Of course they hadn’t! They’re dastardly pirates! The New York Post know a good story when they see one:

Is this the start of a deadly high seas war between the Somali pirates and the US navy? Will pirate hostage Captain Richard Phillips of the Maersk Alabama be released? Stay tuned for the next installment of real pirates… not to be confused with the likes of Orlando Bloom. Or Lego men.