So about a month ago, Kraft announced they were releasing a “new” Vegemite, which is patently absurd because there is nothing wrong with normal Vegemite.
But today a big box arrived at the Crikey office full of little snack pack samples of the stuff.
Each pack contained four slightly cheesy biscuits, and a little compartment of “new” Vegemite — a mix of Vegemite and cream cheese, not dissimilar from a Le Snack.
We naturally had moral objections to the whole concept of reinventing such a perfect condiment, but we’ve never let morality get in the way of a good story before, so we had to at least try it.
I realise Kraft’s PR folk send this to us exactly so we will write about it as I’m doing now, and I’m perhaps just playing into their hands, but this is an issue of great national importance, and as such, I think it’s vital Crikey weigh in.
Here are the team’s views, in one sentence each:
First Dog: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
Journalist Eleri Harris: I’d happily eat it again… in fact I WILL eat it again, as I still have one left
Intern Sophie Tarr: Creepy — cheese should be solid; that’s not cheese, it’s… cheese sludge.
Web Editor Jane Nethercote: Good mouth-feel
Production Co-ordinator Leigh Josey: It was shit – and I’m a Vegemite connoisseur!
Deputy Editor Sophie Black: What’s the point?
Journalist Ruth Brown: UnAustralian.
Matt Preston: Not enough lift in the puff, but because I like you, I swallowed it.
As the product doesn’t actually have a name yet, each pack contains a blank space for you to enter your own suggestion. First Dog took the initiative:
13 Comments
so 6 out of 8 true and honest aussies hate it, thanks team, will not be buying even to try it, sounds yukky.
More importantly, 6 out of 8 journalists turned up their noses at FREE FOOD. That speaks volumes, believe me.
Unfortunately Ruth, if journalists are refusing free food……
Then they’re being paid too much!
Note to publisher: No more free tea and coffee and make them bring their own mugs.
It all seems a bit girly to me. Real men will continue to consume Vegemite Classic. Classic has more than enough salt and fat and the addition of dairy fat to create Girlymite is, umm, overkill.
I’ll buy it, but only if it’s called Poo.
I object to the term ‘Girlymite’!! You know why, so I won’t go on about it. Though it does sound funny I admit.
at least dick smith isn’t involved
I share a slightly less gender-specific version of David Sanderson’s sentiments: if you can’t handle the brutal salty hit of real Vegemite: harden up.
(Though I will point out that Vegemite is actually very low fat)
In all fairness, I must point out that I am not a ‘real man’ myself and therefore I may be at risk of consuming Girlymite at some point in the future. Heaven forfend that such a dark creamy day should arrive but we must all try to be realistic about these kind of things.
djpl- I bet if kraft put a disco treat in you would gobble it down. And really 6 out of 8 aussies hate vegemite? Nearly every kitchen in Australia has a jar of it. Stop making up false stats. Fact- even 6 out of 8 brain damaged ravers know that. The vitamin b might help repair your reasoning faculties.
It’s already in the “remainder bin” at my local Coles…
@ RB “brutal salty hit of real Vegemite” I witnessed a national TV food expert saying “there’s more salt in the bread you put it on” (Rosemary?). Well, I don’t have to pull my lips back out after a bite of bread…
PS: are those pictures what life is really like at Crikey? Blurry and overly colourful?
Can you let me know the name of your bottled “water” supplier or is it in the coffee? Whatever, it sure works for you. ;}
new coke anyone?