Robert Murphy is a 26 yr old Australian Rules Football player who wears the number 2 jersey for the Western Bulldogs football club. He lives in Melbourne, with a number of humans and his dog Arthur, who is a miniature sausage dog. While playing football, Robert spends most of his time in and around the centre half forward position. That’s in the middle, up the front, but not right up the front.
He is also a Football Sparkle Fairy and I love him.
There, I’ve said it.
Some may say I’m deluded (not for having these feelings, but for having them for someone because of the way they play football, and I must admit to feeling slightly foolish). However I am left giddy and breathless, my heart in my throat whenever he goes near the Sherrin, and if you do not understand then you do not understand. That’s OK, I feel for you too. If you don’t get football, you will at least understand someone who is naturally gifted, someone who brings a lyrical sparkling joy to their particular field of endeavour.
Sport is ridiculous. Whatever.
You'll believe a man can fly
A frisson of excitement courses through me whenever Robert takes a mark. Of course this is ludicrous. It’s both exhilarating and a relief at the same time. He will invariably do something wonderful with the ball (or at least he is less likely to stuff it up). That’s Robert. There is a sense of calm that descends, I am sure I’m not alone. He is like a tiny football oasis in the midst of the chaos. Crisp and springy, fresh rice paper rolls, soy sauce, mint, too much chilli.
(Please note first use of “frisson” in firstblogonthemoon).
Robert is a remarkable decision maker, he loves to play on, always takes the right option. Always presents well and is very hard to match up on. He also writes in the Age and took a public stand against the Iraq War. He may be the exception that proves the football player rule. If you don’t know football, he is still a lovely fellow.
Not Arthur but like Arthur
Primarily however, Robert Murphy the Football Sparkle Fairy is in his element on the field. There is a simple freshly baked joy in the shock of his arrival at where the ball is. Where did he come from? How did he get there? What is he going to do with it now? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not some grubby sexual thing like being an Essendon supporter, it’s not like being at a Bombers game with everyone frothing about Mathew Lloyd or James Hird.
When some other Footscray players get free, we all worry, “No, don’t give it to DYLAN ADDISON”. His job is to go and get the ball and kill people. If you kick it to him in open play we will all have a moment of what feels like cognitive dissonance but probably isn’t. At this point I usually yell something helpful like “Give it to Robert!”. Or sometimes “Give it to Nathan” although not so much anymore. That’s a story for another time.
I have drawn a few cartoons about Robert. I will link them here at some point. I need a Cartoon Sparkle Fairy! No wait, I just need to be less lazy. Anyway….
Now the dogs are about to play a preliminary final. Why not. This will be the third final Robert has played. Drab in the first, sparkling in the second and now the cats. The Cats.
Meanwhile, there is Robert Murphy, the football sparkle fairy.
A Football Sparkle Fairy takes a moment
8 Comments
He has interesting hair.
I think Arthur has potential for a sparkle fairy. Franzie McLeod my next door neighbour’s miniature sausage dog could be Arthur’s sister. Franzie is like Robert and leaps in the air. She challenges height, weight and other limitations to score the tips of my green fern fronds. Her ears go like Robert’s hair – everywhere – and her eyes are deep brown pools of loveable innocence. Franzie is a dog fairy who sparkles. I love sparkling fairies.
Let’s hope that Bob sparkles for us tonight!!!!! Go Dogs!!!
A sparkle fairy causing a frisson would make Fred Nile turn in his grave.
Oh……. sorry ……. what? ……. he isn’t?……..
Bugger!
Oops…….
‘He is like a tiny football oasis in the midst of the chaos.’ Many moons ago I saw the Sparkle Fairy at an Oasis gig with his mate (Richmond’s) Nathan Brown. And yes both are tiny. Murphy’s Age columns are usually worth a read. They’re a bit better than most dumb footy players’ efforts (see Barry Hall’s Sunday Age ‘the boys dun good’ ramblings, for example…). Pity the Doggies are going to get smashed tonight though, First Dog.
a picture paints a thousand words, true, but this post explains things better than your classic
http://www.firstdogonthemoon.com/Cartoons/robertsknees.gif
cartoon which I’m not too lazy to find and cross post.
Bernard you are too kind. I had forgotten about that one and it made me laugh which is the purpose of the whole exercise when you think about it. Or even when you don’t.
I’m geographically challenged, live north of the Murray
GulleyRiver, we haven’t had football sparkle dust wafting over us for generations, but having read this I think I now understand it’s effect a bit. Though the “grubby sexual thing like being an Essendon supporter” is a bit concerning, even sparkle fairy dust has it’s down side I suppose.Do you support this team just because they have dog in their name, and would they do a bit better if they changed it to Western SausageDoggies d’you think? I reckon a name like that would attract a lot more Kicking Straight Sparkle Dust from the Football Skills Sparkle Fairy.
BTW, congratulations to you and the cartoon sparkle fairy, and Marcus Rudd for his impeccable taste in Birthday Presenting, in having your creations get pride of place in the Rudd kitchen from now on. No-one will want to wash there anymore, they’ll all want to wipe, and there’ll be fights as to who gets Abbey and who gets Jasper.
For the record The Prime Minister Sparkle Fairy said
“I thought it was pretty daggy actually,…Abbey’s a golden retriever – she’s very nice, she’s loving and caring and welcoming – and it’s Abbey saying something nice about scones…Jasper the cat has serious attitude and Jasper was saying bad things, I won’t say exactly what.”