7 kettles and a Black House Spider (Badumna insignis)

Dad’s Araluen Clearance Sale – Part Two.

There was more than one Black House Spider (Badumna insignis) discovered on the weekend. I found one in a box of wet weather gear (some of it old Australia Post Standard Issue) which was on the ping pong table with about 5 million other boxes of old crap. I love that ping pong table and would have kept it if I had somewhere to put it. Great work table. Anyway, there was a spider in there. There was a spider in one of the many old ceramic pots that huddled around the water tank. One in the old rusty iron. Loads in the shed although I only saw a dead one.

I come in peace

The Black House Spider lives in most of Australia, and for some reason gets confused with the Funnel Web Spider (Atrax robustus) which is unforgivably daft because aside from the fact that they are both grey and spiders, they are utterly unalike. The Funnel Web Spider is a GIGANTIC KILLING MACHINE THAT CAN PUNCH THROUGH A PLASTIC TAKE AWAY CONTAINER AND THIS IS TRUE! When catching Funnel Webs always put it in a glass jar or something stronger OR YOU WILL BE BITTEN AND IF YOU DO NOT DIE YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD. Funnel Web venom melts your nerve endings and laughs at you as you writhe in pain.

Come here, I need to tell you something

The bite of the House Spider on the other hand (or any other body part) can be quite painful and cause local swelling but not screeching, babbling feverish death. Symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, sweating and giddiness are occasionally recorded which is like an afternoon in a beer garden compared to funnel web venom. Also, unlike the Funnel Web, House Spiders cannot jump three metres or drive a backhoe.

Anyway, following on from the previous post – I spent the weekend at Dad’s place in Araluen. Friday was the long drive from Footscray up the mighty Hume. Hey, it’s Holbrook and a submarine wtf. Then going through old boxes of stuff I hadn’t seen for years. Meltdown Suit! I thought someone pinched it. Ah the Hordern Pavilion in 1982 – those were the days! It’s just not the same with all the young people now.

I got an uncontrollable urge

I also found the excellent monster I made out of canvas when Mirka Mora ran a stuffed toy workshop in Monaro Mall as part of the whole 1975 celebration. Mum took me out of school for the day, and I was worried because there were television cameras at one point and I thought Mrs Hines would see me on telly, not sick at home in bed but making a canvas monster at a shopping centre! What a hypervigilant little darling I was. 

The Araluen sale went quite well. The windlass sold for about $70 (around $200 new). When Dad said on the phone to me that it was a Well Deepening Windlass, I think he meant it is a Windlass and he uses it for Well Deepening. Sorry to disappoint. At dad’s place it is my brother Simon who is the lass who gets into the well and clears out the roots from the Casuarinas. He said it was quite creepy battling with the root ball at the bottom of the well even though it wasn’t that deep. And he should know, he is a Doctor. We saw some Choughs, they were dancing about showing their bottoms to anyone interested (each other I suspect).

The Auctioneer Phil was a champion, he auctioned what seemed like 200 lots over 5 hours without a break. The sun beating down on everything, all of it spread out in the paddock, under the apricots and down by the Casuarinas (where the well is). Loads of locals, rummaging about and having a good look. The Braidwood Progress Association ran the sausage sizzle and Phil even managed to sell the gigantic immovable concrete pipe that was 2 metres long and three metres across. The rest of us spent the weekend moving furniture and clearing out the packing shed. We found a number of dessicated rats. (No relation)

I had to buy my grandmother’s scales (kitchen rather than fish) which Dad was trying to flog. I got a couple of nice old Canberra Public Service Wooden Document Trays. Dad also had 7 kettles, 3 yoghurt makers and about 15 million forks.  He told the story about how he got all those forks at dinner on Saturday night even though we had all heard it before and we asked him not to. We were past caring at that point. Sunday morning was moving more furniture about before leaping in the Firstdogonthemoonmobile heading off. Spotted Jackie Kelly (Edit – no Jackie French, Jackie French – very different) lurking on the mountain like a Wallaby (really!) and stopped at Majors Creek to say goodbye to mum’s old place. Then hurtling back down the Hume. The submarine was still in Holbrook.