How I became a Professional AFL Player and won a premiership

Alright I didn’t. But on Tuesday I had a glorious insight into the inner workings of an AFL Club. And not just any AFL club, the Western Bulldogs.

But first some background. Ben Hudson plays in the ruck for the Western Bulldogs, he has recently grown a marvelous beard! So marvelous in fact that some of the lovely people at woof.net.au (a Western Bulldogs internet forum) started the Ben Hudson’s Beard Appreciation Society. Why wouldn’t you! We all joined and shared beard photos and much jollity.

It went (like the beard) from strength to strength, there is a t-shirt, it got a mention in the footy record, there is a facebook group you are required to join – quick go now, it’s right here.

So a couple of weeks back I received a call from a fellow member of the BHBAS who we will call “Barry”. “Barry” said “call Rocket, he wants you to do a presentation to Huddo”. Ohmygod. (Rocket is Rodney Eade the Western Bulldogs coach and a fine fellow indeed. Huddo is obviously Ben Hudson)

I called Rocket and it was true. I was to turn up to an actual Opposition Review meeting, make a presentation in front of the entire team of a BHBAS t-shirt to Mr Huddo. And if I wanted I could stay for the meeting. STAY FOR THE MEETING!!

Apparently the idea was put together by Mr Murphy and Mr Minson who are good mates of Mr Hudson. I was advised that while he is a popular fellow, he has a tendency to make fun of his team mates and is generally a good natured scoundrel.

I arrived at 9.30, met Rocket, and then Mr Murphy and Mr Gilbee and showed them the Powerpoint presentation I had put together. They loved it. The plan was for the meeting to start, Murph to introduce me as someone who had a proposition about fundraising for the end of year trip and then I was away.

Before the meeting I spent a pleasant few minutes talking with Rocket. He is a lovely bloke. He was quietly upbeat about the team’s prospects this year but also realistic. I didn’t hear anything I didn’t want to hear. I also met Brad Johnson (BRAD JOHNSON). He said “Hi I’m Brad” And I wanted to say “well der, of course you are, you’re BRAD JOHNSON|!!) But I didn’t. I feigned an air of calm.

I went into the meeting which was in this lovely theaterette sort of thing, sat down and was promptly told “That’s Aker’s seat, you don’t want to sit there”. I ended up between Aker and Gia who was having a rub down on the massage table. Ahem.

Rocket opened the meeting, and asked Murph to say a few words. Murph got up and introduced me as someone who was here to talk to them about a fundraising proposal for the end of year. I stood up and they started the first slide – everyone laughed! (thank god) and we went from there.

The first slide which you can see below welcomed everyone to the Annual General Meeting of the Ben Hudson’s Beard Appreciation Society.

I had a pretty tense 48 hours putting the slides together, but it paid off as the players thought it was hilarious. Thank goodness!

The presentation went better than expected. At the end, I called Mr Hudson down gave him a t-shirt and presented a certificate of appreciation to his beard.

The presentation is attached below – the biggest laughs were for the “this is a beard” photo and the “how we will win a flag photo”.

I got many laughs and clapping and hand shakes afterwards and frankly I am so impressed with myself I don’t know what to do.

The opposition review meeting was fascinating. The dogs are very professional, very focused.

Later, Rocket gave me a tour of the Elite Training Centre and then I watched training for an hour or so. I had a lovely time and invited myself back but I’m not sure Rocket was listening at that point.

Here is the Certificate that I presented to the beard.

Certificate of Appreciation...

And this is a movie version of the powerpoint presentation – unfortunately it takes out the nice transitions and effects but you get the idea.