Today the Coalition promised to COME DOWN HARD on people with knives who are stabby. Look out users of knives (other than people on masterchef and people making toast etc) Be afraid!
Did you know there are well organised National Knife Gangs terrorising innocent suburbs on a Federal Basis? True! Here is exclusive footage we obtained exclusively.
While gangs may well be a problem for Australia, they are definitely a problem now for the coalition who have LOST THE GANG VOTE altogether after today’s effort. Tough on crime federally because it is nice to pretend you care enough to do something to stop young people stabbing themselves, each other and RANDOM STRANGERS. And of course the Government jumped on board too, just because they wanted to PISS ME OFF!
Look at me, making fun of stabbings and knives like some sneering out-of-touch elitist fancy cartoonist who knows nothing about what it is like to live in the REAL WORLD WHERE YOU GET STABBED AT THE SHOP BY GIANT DRUNKEN BABIES!!!! What a cynical arse I turned out to be.
Oh my goodness!
Thank heavens for Mr Abbott and that nice Mr Robb who are going to fix this problem with their magic bottoms or whatever it was fuck it I wasn’t listening because really. I mean WHAT IF YOU GOT ATTACKED WITH THIS?
How much trouble are you in now? Heaps!
What is Julia going to do about that? Huh! Not so smug now are you Mr I’m So Smug In My Bloomers. No, I have moved from smug to screeching despair. When will it end?
3 Comments
I think that last picture is from the new Furi range. Ergonomic as well.
I feel for you FD. The sordid worlds you must enter to get the lowdown for your blog. That shark-knives-thingy is seriously scary. A must have for political minders maybe. You sound a little on edge today—are you going to be OK holding it together until August 21st?
Can we please have some comments from first dog on Timothy the cat, who made an epic journey from Brisbane to Townsville? I am sure he had to survive furious knife attacks on the way.
Or are dogs prejudiced against cats? (I can’t believe this of First Dog).
But I am sure Bolt will issue an anti-cat tirade. After all Timothy is described as “black and white”. Is this an aberration of nature or are we truly witnessing the integration of the “right sort of migrant” into the Queensland community?
http://pine-rivers-press.whereilive.com.au/news/story/timothy-the-cat-from-bald-hills-found-in-townsville/