Question time: pension special

“This is a practical plan of action to do something practical for working families.” Spare us. That was housing affordability. This is pension rates: “You had 12 years and you did nothing.” Compelling. Nelson is getting redfaced. Turnbull chortles, Tuscan tanned. The member for Higgins is absent. “He has leave today to attend a funeral,” says Julie Bishop, turning on her heel. Withering. What we need now, to reduce this whole unfortunate farrago to the point of absurdity is a question from Warren Truss. Oh god it’s a question from Warren Truss. He’s like a country mortician. “Why is the Prime Minister refusing to provide timely relief for pensioners?” wonders Tony Abbot aloud, ears rigid with aniticpation. And the member for Dixon is warned that he cannot refer to the Prime Minister as ‘this bloke’. We should be grateful, this is democracy in action. Nelson is conspicuoulsy silent … this is your time to shine Brendan. Or perhaps your last chance. None of these blows amount to much. From Rudd it’s almost a solo show, droning on and on. Dancing with myself. Unflappable. Assured. And that’s the thing, Rudd will run rings round them until they get their house in order. Just do it Malcolm, with your “Andrew Peacock tan”.