Herald Sun: you know how we’ve been scaring you? All you have to do is trust in Big Tough Minister Ryan and he’ll keep you safe. Hush.
The Herald Sun leads today with a story sure to make the readers they spend every day trying to terrify feel somewhat safer: big tough Minister Ryan is GOING TO GET TOUGH ON BAD PEOPLE. Just look at him!
“Time’s Up For Thugs” cries the Hun, trumpeting the news that Ryan is jetsetting off to New York – sorry, this is a politician we’re trying to get you to like, so it’s just “going” off to New York, and we won’t be running cheap “Ryan Air” gibes either – to see “zero tolerance” in action. Which he’s already decided to implement.
Except the Hun doesn’t explain what present “tolerance” will be being reduced to “zero”. Nor does it ask Ryan why he needs to fly to New York to hear about it. Or how he’s going to fund all these extra police and court time and lawyers and prisons. How much is it going to cost? Have they even got an estimate? Also, if the police are going to be everywhere and have no discretion about how they enforce “all the laws”, does the Herald Sun have any concerns about how its readers are going to cope with the Baillieu government’s anti-swearing laws? (Talking of an assault on free speech News Ltd didn’t seem all that bothered by.) In fact, is there anything in there in any way sceptical or questioning about this announcement at all? Is there anything in that story that couldn’t simply have been in a state Liberal Party media release?
Sorry, sorry. I was confusing the Herald Sun with a news organisation again.
UPDATE: The image in the paper is even more absurd:
(H/T “@SnivellingPinko” for the photo.)
UPDATE #2: Thanks to an excellent suggestion by davkel in the comments, the “Ryan 747″ suggestion has been replaced with “Ryan Air”.