This letter is to certify that I do not want to be selected to play for Australia again on this trip. I do understand that this may leave you in a quandary, but I think this is the best result for everyone at this time.
I have tried to make this easier for you, but you seem hell bent on picking me. I really do appreciate your loyalty, but I am spent. The team would be in a much better situation if I were not a member. The boys are being very supportive of my decision; I hope you do the same.
Cricket used to be fun, now it isn’t. I do love representing my country, but I also like watching Troma films, listening to the Eagles and completing themed word jumbles. I think that at this point it would be better for me to spend my time on these pursuits.
Obviously there are mitigating factors, my mother’s press conferences, the pressure of leading the attack in England and the fact that Troy Cooley keeps following me around talking about wrist position.
If one more person mentions wrist position to me I might die.
Yesterday was the worst; Steve Harmison called me to tell me he knew how I was feeling.
How could another man know I am dying inside, it is all too much for me.
I didn’t sign on for this.
Jessica wants me to go to faliraki with her, but I am not in the mood.
I just wanna crawl up in the corner.
Please just get me out of here.
I’ve had enough.
No more swing.
No more mummy.
Please
Somebody
Help
Me
I want to go home.
Yours truly,
Mitchell Johnson
