So the jockeys are striking. Melbourne’s iconic Spring Carnival is in crisis mode as the horse people with the small hands put the whip in the rack and refuse to race. You don’t want to mess with a group of jockeys, they have special magical powers.
Stewards, bookies, the average punter need a solution. There’s a quaddie to be done tomorrow for chrissakes.
Here at Crikey we are always, as usual, here to help.
Don’t have jockeys? Get the next best thing.
Monkeys.
God yes. Make this happen. Please.
9 Comments
they don’t even need saddles. or whips. just tiny satin uniforms. genius.
ROTFLMAO
I hope the poor beasts weren’t strapped together. That would have been terribly cruel.
Otherwise, waffle roffled. Specially at the dog watching the commentator. I think Leigh just got removed from the jockey union Xmas card list.
The use of the whip by Australian jockeys can do more harm to a horse than public perceptions would have us believe.
The whipping sounds are produced by the split ends of leather at the business-end of the whip being clacked together and do not, of themselves cause pain to the horse. In theory the whip arm is used in a rotary movement with the arm of the whip-hand being held close to the body. Which is deemed to be less cruel than holding the arm out from the body and then hitting your mount.
No matter how many regulations are brought in to regulate the use of the whip it is still a callous way to treat a horse whose herd instinct is to race anyway, and when you get a trainer like Lee Freedman complaining about the recent move to strike a horse no more than three times in the straight, the question has to be asked WTF is he on about? What is it about Australian trainers and jockeys which fails to alert them to the overuse of the whip.
All that arm twirling, flailing away not only makes the jockeys look like a bunch of toy windmills frantically turning in the wind. But the movement interferes with the balance of a horse and as anyone who can ride a horse can tell you a balanced horse is a happy horse. Rider and horse working in harmony is what it is all about.
Once upon a time the English and the Australian Turf had jockeys like Harry White and Lester Piggott. If a horse had to be reminded to concentrate one clout would be administered and few people watching the race would even have been aware of it.
Another thing which is never mentioned is the mental conversation a good rider has with his mount. Horse and rider should know what the other is thinking, but it’s probably a bit much to ask of a kid from Manangatang who was the runt of the litter. Seldom will he figure this out, and he would be afraid to mention it to his friends for fear of sounding foolish.
Racing a horse without a whip would be foolish. If something unusual occurs it’s necessary to alert the horse. However, flogging a horse up the straight earns Australian jockeys a bad name in other countries, it’s bad for the horse, bad business and bad for racing. Lee Freedman should pull his head in.
BTW, something I’ve forgotten to mention in previous comments about the jumps. Legion are the people who say. “But some horses love to jump!” Perfectly true, but THEY DON’T LOVE TO JUMP AT HIGH SPEED OVER JUMPS. Once again there is no balance to aid the horse. Jumps racing is anathema and the people who indulge in it are pitiless and hog-greedy.
Thanks Venise. Very thorough. Very hard to argue against a lot of the points you made.
However, if monkeys were racing do you think they would need to use a whip?
Just interested…
Look at the yellow jacket monkey go, moving its ass to get the dog going – very smart animals.
Sports photography captures the glory and honor of the game
Leigh: Only just caught up with your question. Too complex for this humble blogger to answer. Especially as I’m not sure if the monkeys were riding horses, dogs? Oh well.
I’m tired so gotta go.
Cheers
Venise
PS: I know that monkeys were riding dogs in the video. From the point of view of balance. It’s like sex you’ve either get it or you don’t. Get as in ‘understanding’ it Monkeys have natural balance, whereas horse riders have to learn it.
Most people in the business would cheerfully strangle the hoop who buggered their horses chance of a win/place. If someone could invent a robot to replace jockeys they would be overwhelmed with orders.
The little brutes can scarcely speak Oz let alone attempt to understand what the trainers are telling them to do.
One cold, cold winter’s day at Sandown, the jockey could hardly speak at all. Anyway the trainer told him precisely what she wanted and to our amazement he did the complete opposite.
It was a dreadful day all around. Our horse hated the soggy going. It had been down graded as far as possible before the racing being canceled-way past dead. We all thought the races would be canceled-Ha not a bit of it. Bugger the horses, it’s the bettors who count. One poor horse crashed through the barrier when it was standing still. Then it panicked. The wind was howling across the track. There was thunder and lightning. The jockey didn’t even wake up to the fact he was meant to be riding to the trainers orders, but at least he didn’t push the horse. To add insult to everything else a seagull flew into Toby’s saddle. Not a good day.
A week later I realized why the jockey had been unusually silent. I woke up with an advanced case of the flu.
Hmmm. Interesting Venise. The jockeys have ended their picket and my dream of monkeys riding horses has ended — for a while at least.
Got any tips for the Spring Carnival?
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