The announcement of our Ruddbot translation competition winners was never likely to contain anything in terms of detailed programmatic specificity. Let me just say that we narrowed the field down to 11, then to four, formed a committee, initiated a review, assigned a taskforce, consulted the entrails and decided to crown Michael Nolan for ‘It’s Time‘, and ivar_the_boneless for ‘Poker Face‘.

Had we known Fully (sic) readers were so clever, we would have been too intimidated to start a language blog.

Michael Nolan

It’s Time.

Ruddspeak translation:
“Look, people are asking – working families around the country are stumping up and asking, as we bring the Cabinet into town halls to start a conversation with ordinary Australians – they’re asking, Prime Minister, when should we back you lot? Let me be very clear about this: the Labor government takes the view that we’ve reached that juncture.”


Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’

“I want to make it very clear just how much this government is taking responsibility for its playing cards, as they do in Texas, a place which, as my friend former President Bush knows, I am very fond.

Mr Abbott will similarly hold his cards close to his chest and, as we can all expect from Mr Abbott, he will continue with his negative campaigning against the government’s initiatives without offering any policy alternatives of his own. In refusing to work with the government, he is raising the risk of a negative outcome for hardworking families across Australia. Can I just say to all the mums and dads out there that they can trust this government to deliver on its promises, and when it comes to serving the Australian people, there’s nothing I love more.

Look, the vicissitudinal fortunes that beset modern life, in conjunction with our overall policy direction, undoubtedly put pressures on the political cards played by this government. But when it comes to the future of Australia, I will never apologise for playing spades, so that we can use those spades to continue to build the Education Revolution.

I extend an open invitation to Mr Abbott to work in a bipartisan manner with the government on this issue. If he should accept this invitation, I, as Prime Minister, will share with him our strategy for moving forward with the building of this nation, a cause which, I’m sure, is close to his heart.

Frankly, he’ll be flat out like a lizard throwing shrimps on the barbie once I show him what I’ve hidden in the biscuit tin.

In the meantime, in the meantime, Kerry, let me just say, Mr Abbott’s perceptive ability has utterly deserted him with respect to the strategic blueprint of this government for the future direction of this great nation of ours.”

Congratulations Michael and ivar, you’ve both won yourselves brand spanking new hardcover 5th edition Macquarie Dictionaries. Email your mailing details to [email protected]

The Julia Gillard ‘People’s Choice’ Award goes to Alex McKinnon for a stunning translation of the Milkshake song by Kelis. We can’t let such a stellar effort go unrewarded, Alex, so we’ll also send you a prize pack of Crikey merchandise if you let us know where to send it.

Very honourable mentions are also due to matthew.pieter.clark, Peter Ward, Dan Cass, originaldog and Juzzy.

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