The Tripadvisor advertisement for the Elliott Hotel’s accommodation could read thus “Rustic ensuite rooms, tea & coffee, fridge & air-conditioned. Sleeps four. Walking distance to 9 hole golf course. Central location in downtown Elliott, the Northern Territory town that time forgot.

But it doesn’t, because there is no Tripadvisor or Trivago listing for Elliott – the town or the pub.

There are listings for the slightly less modest accommodation at Dunmarra Wayside Inn 90 klicks north and Renner Springs, the same distance southbound but zero for the town with the sole apparent attribute of being almost exactly equidistant from Darwin and Alice Springs along the 1,500 klick stretch of the Stuart Highway that snakes through the Territory like a bitumised dreaming track for the internal combustion engine.

The only review I’ve been able to find for the Elliott Hotel is from German motorbike rider Pouakai Doe, who posted the following on Google+ after a night there earlier this year.

Heruntergekommen, versiffte Unterkünfte hinter dem Haus mit Badezimmer und Toilette wo man sich mal wieder richtig ekeln kann. Klimaanlage ist nicht in der Lage die Temperatur im Zimmer auch nur halbwegs erträglich zu machen.

Even my fractured German tells me that Pouakai had a rough night, starting with the en-suite. Here is the sink in Room 3, where I stayed last week.

The bog was a little newer at least …

And I was a little worried about the mirror.

But at least the curtains were, well, were.

The rooms – and the pub – could at best be described as, err …quaint. Inside and out.

It is a shame that the Elliott Hotel isn’t a bit more attractive to visitors because the town itself-and more particularly the country around it–has more than enough to keep you usefully occupied for a week or more.

For those with an eye for the open spaces, the vastness of the Barkly Tablelands are an hour or two away to the east and to the west and south the massive inland water system of Longreach Waterhole and Lake Woods is a great place to camp and watch the local–and migratory–birdlife and the migratory grey nomads getting frisky from time to time–in season of course.

And late in April the pub hosts the annual Elliott Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. You can find out a lot more about the biggest fun that a small town can have here, here and a great set of pics in the local NT News here.

You’d be a mug to miss it.

And at $45 bucks a night I reckon the Elliott Hotel has the cheapest hotel room in the country.