If Cancer Jesus ever returns to Adelaide he can expect to be dragged from his private jet at the airport, hitched to the back of a truck with a rope, hauled into the city down Anzac Parade and his lifeless body hung for display from a light standard in Victoria Square while the crowds that once sang his praises to the sky bay for his blood. He doesn't deserve any better.
Unlike the several hundred thousand Australians that will be glued to their small screens on Friday and Saturday nights this week watching a marshmallow “interview” the biggest fraud in sporting history I’ll have something better to do.
Like eating my own liver. Or standing outside a bar in Darwin’s Mitchell Street picking fights.
I’ll do just about anything to avoid the biggest media stunt in (recent) sporting or political history.
Jun 18, 2012
These charges are baseless, motivated by spite and advanced through testimony bought and paid for by promises of anonymity and immunity. Although USADA alleges a wide-ranging conspiracy extended over more than 16 years, I am the only athlete it has chosen to charge. USADA’s malice, its methods, its star-chamber practices, and its decision to punish first and adjudicate later all are at odds with our ideals of fairness and fair play. I have never doped.
Last week The Wall Street Journal published a 15 page leaked letter from the United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) addressed to Lance Armstrong and five others closely associated with his cycling career.
That letter and events that flow from it will change the course of professional road cycling forever. Armstrong’s reputation and deified place in sporting history – a position that for many is already suspect – now stands to be torn to shreds.
Roll back your wheels to the early 1990s.
Over the past few years I’ve written no end of pieces here and at Crikey on the relationship between Mike Rann’s South Australian Government and the American cyclist (now retired) Lance Armstrong. Back in 2009 I wrote:
Lance Armstrong went to Adelaide for a fortnight in January. While there he spoke to a few cancer charities, visited hospitals, charity fund-raisers and cancer victims, and schmoozed with Kevin Rudd, a fawning South Australian Premier Mike Rann, assorted SA Ministers and half the population of Adelaide. Oh, and between schmoozes he rode around on his bike for seven days during the Tour Down Under. For his troubles he trousered a wedge understood to be up to $AU3 million in cash.