From the Jetstar 787 Dreamliner tour YouTube, linked bottom of page

The ‘wow here comes our Dreamliner’ campaign is gathering momentum at Jetstar, and, good on them.

Provided the plastic jetliner doesn’t spring any more unwelcome surprises, it represents a further investment in fuel efficient lower emissions technology that might just allow competitive airlines to make money while lowering the costs of flying.

But while visiting one of my favourite sites, Australian Business Traveller today, and reading up on the seats Jetstar has crammed into the 787-8, all 335 of them, a different perspective suggested itself.

The seats are exceedingly small, no matter how perfectly formed, and as a nation, Australians aren’t.

Nine across seating was not in frame when Boeing called the 787 the Dreamliner. The difference between sitting in a nine across mock up of a 787, and the original eight across format, is if anything even more disappointing than what happened to 777s when some but not all carriers turned them over from spacious nine across seating to ten across.

Yet people have become hooked on inexpensive flying. So, is there not an opportunity for gyms and personal trainers to offer Jetstar circuits and programs, designed to make you fit into their seats, or those of other low fare and full service carriers, and in comfort.

OK, it won’t be called the Jetstar program because the licensing fees would bankrupt your typical gym. So maybe a FF (frequent flyer) fitness regime, in which the whole point of boot camp is to fit your booty into a ridiculously tiny space, and cut away the flab that stops some people even lowering a half sized tray table.

Lufthansa now has 30 inch seat pitch in regional domestic business class in Europe, which is one to two inches more than Ryanair offers for a quarter of the price and half the flying time because it doesn’t use hubs,  so there is no escape from mean seating no matter how much you pay for your seat.

But think of the benefits. You get to fit into the seat without having to synchronise your breathing with those beside you. You no longer have to try and eat or drink through a straw because the seat bank in front of you crushed lunch and hot coffee all over your white shirt.  You get to live 10 years longer because you reduce your risk of stroke, heart and other obesity related diseases. By starving yourself into the confines of a Jetstar seat for say nine or ten hours to Honolulu, you saving thousands of dollars a year in excess groceries or junk food. The Boeing Dreamliner slimliner could totally change your life.

Make fitting into tight airline seats your goal in life. It’s where your corporate account managers are going to make you sit anyhow, so get over it and get with it!

The Jetstar YouTube video tour is linked below.  Who knows, it might have been drawn to the scale of a 747 interior, but hey, the windows look authentic.


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