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Now here is an art-ic-le,
Lame as can be.
It’s Mr Paul Sheehan’s,
Green ABC.

It’s light on an-aly-sis,
and dripping with fear,
So please come and take,
A look at it here.

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G is for Greenie, that’s good enough for me,
Hey, G is for Greenie, that’s good enough for me,
Yeah, G is for Greenie, that’s good enough for me,
Oh, Greenie, Greenie, Greenie start with G.

Hey, you know what I find out about Greenies this election? They don’t just hug trees. No, no, Greenies have things called, pol-ic-ies, about all sorts of other thing too. But some people get upset about that, yeah, yeah. How can you criticise Greenies for being single issue party if they keep making pol-ic-ies about other things?

Third parties make life hard.

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When you are faced with a third party potentially threatening the comfortable bi-polar political scheme that you have always dealt with it’s not unreasonable to be concerned.

What better way to explain to people what a dangerous change to the natural order this threatens to be than a long list? There’s no need for extensive detail when you have a list, every dot point, no matter how incomplete, adds weight to your argument. Add the words Marxist, Hard-Left and Heroin, and you’ll have convinced everyone that this third party is nothing more than a latter day Soviet plot to make us all stand in bread lines and drive Lada Nivas. I ask you, could there be anything worse?

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You know what confuses me? When an author accuses a political party of fraud, because the party has policies that he doesn’t like.

What confuses me more is when a lot of the things on his list don’t stand up to scrutiny. I’m going to have to ask a grown up about Urban heat islands, what it means to be permissive on porn, and why the Greens can’t be supported by lobby groups, but the Liberal Party and the ALP can. And why can’t a union donate to the Greens? If only there was some well reasoned argument to guide me instead of a laundry list of complaints.

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Listen lefties, we know better than you, so we know that you must all be too stupid to have familiarised yourselves with the Greens policies, so I’m going to spell it out one more time to get it through your dope addled heads.

Heroin!

Boat People!

Same Sex Marriage

Broadband

See? You didn’t know that the Greens wanted all that stuff did you?

You did? You mean you knew their policies and you still voted for them? That makes no sense at all.

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I have no comment at all. Talk to my press people.

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