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Posted

Mar 23, 2012

Herald Sun: you know how we’ve been scaring you? All you have to do is trust in Big Tough Minister Ryan and he’ll keep you safe. Hush.

The Herald Sun leads today with a story

Pure Poison IconThe Herald Sun leads today with a story sure to make the readers they spend every day trying to terrify feel somewhat safer: big tough Minister Ryan is GOING TO GET TOUGH ON BAD PEOPLE. Just look at him!


Yeah, I’m HARD CORE. (Herald Sun’s image.)

“Time’s Up For Thugs” cries the Hun, trumpeting the news that Ryan is jetsetting off to New York – sorry, this is a politician we’re trying to get you to like, so it’s just “going” off to New York, and we won’t be running cheap “Ryan Air” gibes either – to see “zero tolerance” in action. Which he’s already decided to implement.

Except the Hun doesn’t explain what present “tolerance” will be being reduced to “zero”. Nor does it ask Ryan why he needs to fly to New York to hear about it. Or how he’s going to fund all these extra police and court time and lawyers and prisons. How much is it going to cost? Have they even got an estimate? Also, if the police are going to be everywhere and have no discretion about how they enforce “all the laws”, does the Herald Sun have any concerns about how its readers are going to cope with the Baillieu government’s anti-swearing laws? (Talking of an assault on free speech News Ltd didn’t seem all that bothered by.) In fact, is there anything in there in any way sceptical or questioning about this announcement at all? Is there anything in that story that couldn’t simply have been in a state Liberal Party media release?

Sorry, sorry. I was confusing the Herald Sun with a news organisation again.

UPDATE: The image in the paper is even more absurd:


“Tough”. No, “tough”, not “sneering”. Look, just… oh, fine, that’ll have to do.

(H/T “@SnivellingPinko” for the photo.)

UPDATE #2: Thanks to an excellent suggestion by davkel in the comments, the “Ryan 747” suggestion has been replaced with “Ryan Air”.

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16 comments

16 thoughts on “Herald Sun: you know how we’ve been scaring you? All you have to do is trust in Big Tough Minister Ryan and he’ll keep you safe. Hush.

  1. AR

    That old slattern, Laura Norder, is put out on the streets again, despite the holes in her tights and the logic.

  2. Angra

    AB(C)D says Naden was “hole up in the area.”

    I think a blow has just been struck for accurate media reporting.

    Julian Clary would be proud. But was does this say about Chuck?

    Sniffing out the clues etc.?

  3. Angra

    It wasn’t camouflaged rozzers, it was Inspector Rex.

    ABD breathlessly reports…

    “Police say up to 300 heavily-armed officers from Strike Force Durkin crept through bushland after receiving intelligence that Naden was hole (sic) up in the area.”

    But is was the dog that caught him. His name is Chuck.

    (Endless jokes to be inserted here. Eg. They’re making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck. Its called 1.)

  4. John Reidy

    That’s how they caught Malcolm Naden, MOC, apparently 6 months ago he was spotted on the outskirts of a town on NSW, and to quote one of our journos a
    [highly visible! heavily camouflaged police presence]
    moved in….
    Really it got past the journo and the subbie, sometimes I feel like giving up.

  5. Ronson Dalby

    Most of the cops I see around Sydney would be way too fat to walk a beat, MoC, although it might do them some good (does the reliance on Tasers make coppers even fatter?).

    I could see a large increase in heart attack compensation claims.

  6. Marty

    @MoC

    But nothing makes a public space safer like having police around and visible.

    Unless you’re a Brazilian tourist, of course.

  7. Matthew of Canberra

    And I am completely in favor of more cops “on the beat”. Obviously there are competing priorities for resources, there always are. But nothing makes a public space safer like having police around and visible.

  8. Matthew of Canberra

    “As for the NY experiment, a lot of the commentary seemed to be that it was zero tolerance of black people.”

    The more esoteric part of it was that the “zero tolerance” extended to property owners as well. The idea was to improve the city environment, so that there weren’t places that encouraged crime. So a company with a warehouse that had graffiti and broken windows and down-at-heel fences could be ordered to up their game and fix it.

    But yeah, the big difference has been put down (by more sensible people) to the fairly massive increase in police numbers, the pick up in the economy and the remarkable collapse of one or two particularly pernicious drug habits. The same fall in crime rates were seen all over the US, not just in new york.

  9. Jeremy Sear

    Gold work, Davkel. Post updated with your joke.

  10. SonofMogh

    Somehow I think if the other side were in power the word “Junket” would appear in large print.

  11. monkeywrench

    Given the HS is so delusory about picturing the Chinless Wonder, I expect they made no mention of how Big Ted is paying for this fantasy: by selling off Victoria’s assets.
    Hope all those Liberal voters are happy now.

  12. Russ44

    See that kid in the first photo? I’d back him against the bloke with the big nose. But I agree with MoC – there isn’t a state or territory in Australia that has a big enough police force to take a true “zero tolerance” approach. So where will Big Ted find another $100 million or so to get another couple of thousand police?

    As for the NY experiment, a lot of the commentary seemed to be that it was zero tolerance of black people.

  13. Matthew of Canberra

    “Zero Tolerance” is also probably the most misunderstood term ever applied to law enforcement.

    There’s also a reasonable case to be made that it didn’t work. That hiring 10,000 more police (yes, you read that right) had more to do with crime rates falling in new york than any ideological agenda.

  14. Matthew of Canberra

    Nah. He’s a pussycat.

    Put Bricktop in charge and THEN the crims will be quaking.

  15. davkel

    I thought the cheap gibe would be about ‘Ryanair’????